Smokey is way more intense in person.

Lets talk Mitch. Mitch Hedberg that is. In my humble opinion, he is the greatest comedian of all time. Now, here is where some of you may quote George Carlin’s “Seven Things You Can’t Say on Television” or Bill Cosby’s “Noah” routine. Or perhaps you, like me, are a huge fan of Robin William’s “Beginnings of Golf.” While all these things are great and will be remembered for all of history, I believe the crown must go to my man, Mitch.
What makes him so great is consistency. He is able to do a routine where the crowd laughs at every joke. They laugh because each joke is funny, not just because they are still laughing from the one before it. The way you can tell this is by quoting individual jokes in everyday life. Don’t lead up to it, don’t explain it afterwards. Just quote it. Just read some of these and see if you laugh at them:
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me to turn my music down, and that made me angry because I like loud music, so when he knocked on the wall I'd mess with his head. I'd say: "Go around! I cannot open the wall. I don't know if you have a doorknob on the other side, but over here there's nothing. It's just flat.
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."
I saw this lady on TV, she was born without arms, she was born with her hands attached to her shoulders, and that was sad. But then they said, Lola does not know the meaning of the word "can't", and that to me was actually kind of worse in a way, you know, not only does she not have arms but she doesn't understand simple contractions.
I want to get a vending machine with Halloween size candy bars, Fun Size candy bars, then the glass pane will be a magnifying glass. They will be pissed off but it will be too late.
(all these quotes from Wikiquote)
I know this statement will contradict my last one about Jeff Dunham, but Mitch is so good, he doesn’t need the crowd. He is horrible at improvising, so he just does monologue the whole time. Awesome, I know. If you have ever seen any video of him trying to wing it, he is not funny. Except for one time when the microphone came unplugged. He spent a couple minutes trying to plug it back in, finally did, and said, “Man, I hate puzzles.” Classic.
The other thing about Mitch is the fact that he is able to makes jokes about anything. That is what I truly admire about the man. Many comedians need to makes jokes about topics that are taboo. You hear these horrible things said about incest, racism, drug addicts, racists, and rape. You laugh, don’t even try to get out of that. You laugh. But you will go to hell. Its cool though, I hear everybody does.
Mitch is able to joke about things that nobody else can. He talks about a cockroach infestation in his house, then says, “I wish it was a koala infestation. That would be like, the cutest infestation ever. I would turn on the light, and they would scatter, but I wouldn’t want them to. I’d be like, ‘Come back, I want to pet you and feed you this leaf.’”
He makes his fair share of drug jokes and racism stuff, but he doesn’t rely on it. Most of his drug jokes are about himself anyway. The man couldn’t do a show sober. And he died of an overdose involving cocaine and heroin (facts thanks to Wikipedia). Drugs suck. Not only to they make people really annoying, but they get rid of most of the best comedians and all the old rock stars. Somebody should make them illegal.
I guess my real question is what makes a quality comedian? I know they need to make people laugh, but what else is there? Is there even a set criteria that can be set to grade them on. Maybe it’s personal style, maybe there is something more. Also, I am looking for some new material to check out. I realize that I haven’t covered all the big names yet, but I am getting to that. I know all the big names, and I will cover them. If any of you know people who are just starting out or don’t have a large following, drop me their names and I will check them out. Thanks.